Nuts & Bolts of Memoir Writing

A Special Workshop with Sylvia Clare

If you’re just starting to write your memoir or even just thinking about it, that beginning phase can be both exciting and overwhelming. There’s the pull of so many stories wanting to be told, and then the wave of questions: Where do I start? Is my story worth telling? Who is this even for?

Many of us in this community are deep in the process. We’ve waded into the thick of it—painful recollections, meandering drafts, and ever still, we have those “What am I even doing?” moments.

It’s easy to get tangled in doubts before a single word hits the page. (Spoiler alert: That doubt will likely be your companion throughout your process. Read more about that here: Memoir & Self-Doubt: Telling Your Story Anyway.)

I’ve been thinking about the fundamentals of memoir and how to help writers find their footing when they’re just beginning or in the muddy middle.

So it feels timely to return to the basics.

Here are three aspects I keep returning to:

1. Don’t try to tell your whole life story.

A common challenge, especially early on, is trying to cover everything. But the best memoirs are focused. They orbit a specific question, theme, or chapter of life. Narrowing the scope can feel difficult at first, but it’s actually a gift. It lets you go deeper, find clarity, and build momentum. You’re not writing your life story—you’re writing a story from your life. Leave the autobiographies to the celebrities.

Don’t worry if you don’t know immediately what that focus is, but you should definitely take serious stock at the beginning of your journey to hone in on what stories are most important to you and how they are related to each other.

2. Memoir is about meaning, not just memory.

Memoir isn’t just about what happened. It’s about how we make meaning from it, and how we shape that meaning into something resonant, universal, and true. The most powerful stories explore the emotional and personal significance behind events. Memoir becomes meaningful when it makes that leap from experience to insight.

That said, you don’t have to start out knowing exactly what it all means. Often, it’s through the writing itself that clarity begins to emerge.

3. Your voice is what brings the story to life.

Your honesty, tone, vulnerability, and reflection are what draw a reader in. Some of the most unforgettable memoirs weren’t built on dramatic events, but on distinctive voices. There’s something magical about an author who can reach through the page and connect to readers with their voice. Honestly, the most interesting life can be a bore to read if the voice is not authentic or relatable.

And if you’re not sure what your “voice” is yet, that’s okay. It’s not something you need to force. Your voice is part of who you are. Give it room to grow. Be vulnerable. Write even (and especially) if it scares you. Trust that it will become clear as you write.

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If you’re ready to begin—or begin again—there’s a session this weekend that’s especially geared toward those early steps.

“Nuts & Bolts of Memoir Writing – A Special Workshop with

sylvia clare

”
🗓 Sunday, May 4, 2025
🕖 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM CEST (on Zoom)
Full details on Meetup

Sylvia is a longtime member of this group and author of five memoirs. In this beginner-friendly workshop, she’ll walk through questions like:
– Why are you writing this story, and who is it for?
– How do you begin in a way that hooks a reader?
– What makes a character (even yourself) feel real on the page?
– How do you handle difficult emotions, backstory, and dialogue with honesty and grace?
– And more!

There will be writing tools, examples, prompts, and time for reflection—plus room for your questions. It’s donation-based (suggested €20), and free for paid Substack subscribers.

If you’ve been waiting for a gentle way to begin, this might be it.

And whether or not you attend, I’d love to know:

What’s one story from your life that keeps tapping you on the shoulder?

What’s been holding you back from writing it?